Yolanda and the Yugo

 

The gravel in the grass dug into the soles of her feet with every step. This was better than walking barefoot on the sweltering asphalt, or hiking in high heels. At least her gaudy, green bridesmaid's dress was short enough that she was not overheating in Texan summer sun. Her car, on the other hand, was not so lucky.

A truck approached. Just like the others, it sped right past her. It's my green dress, she thought, green means go. That, and it fit in with one of her major life theses, chivalry is dead.

She drove an old 1992 Yugo Cabrio, which she financed immediately after receiving her first teacher paycheck. It was hip, unique, and stylish. It really fit her hipster persona, a lifestyle she happily embraced. Since the day she drove it off the used car lot, it has been a complete headache. Radiator, transmission, shocks, it was in the shop more than it was in her garage.

Oh, but she looked so cute behind the wheel, she just could not part ways. The few months that it did run, she drove with the top down, wearing over-sized sunglasses and her hair down. The car was worth the trouble.

Unfortunately, her Yugo just was not up to the challenge of this big hill. No one will miss a bridesmaid, she thought, not surprised that sarcasm had invaded her inner monologue. At the pace she was walking, she would be an hour late to the wedding. Just flaky Yolanda doing what she always does.

She could hear the clicking of the bugs in the tall grass to her right. She half expected a rattlesnake to come shooting out at any moment. She maneuvered around and over a few protruding cacti.

A white Ford Explorer came speeding over the hill. The driver slammed on the brakes, skidding to a stop just past her. It turned around and rolled up beside her with the window down.

“Hi there.” He wore a suit and looked maybe a couple years younger than her. “Are you okay?”

Yolanda stopped, the car stopped too. She looked at the man, looked down at her feet, looked back down the hill at her Yugo, and wiped the sweat from her brow. She raised her palms to the air, and gave him a dead stare. “Are you stupid?”
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“Sorry…force of habit, but to answer your question, no. I'm Jake, I'm told you're Yolanda.”

“Thanks genius,” she opened the front passenger door and sat. Jake smiled at her. An awkward silence was broken by Yolanda, “Can we go?”

“You need to fasten your seat belt.”

She stared at him for a moment, not believing his request. He pointed to the fastener, still smiling. An ironic smile crept onto Yolanda's face, she dropped her heels on the floor of the Explorer and grabbed the buckle. She snapped it, never taking her eyes off him. He never broke his smile, which after sitting in the cold air of the cabin for a few seconds, she thought was quite nice. He had a dimple on his left side, but not his right. His teeth were perfect.

“Alright then.” The wheels spun underneath the vehicle, kicking up gravel behind them. When the wheels caught traction, the acceleration pushed her body into the seat.

Once they reached cruising speed, she asked, “Is everyone really pissed?”

“Hold on.” He grabbed a phone from the center console and pushed several buttons. He did this even as he swerved methodically around other cars. “I found her. We're on our way.” He set it down and smiled at her again.

“Pissed? Oh yeah, Emily is ready to tear you a new asshole.”

“You seem pretty calm about it.”

“It's not my wedding, and it's not my asshole.” He swerved around another car, going well over the posted 45 MPH speed limit.

Yolanda sighed heavily and shook her head. “I'm so stupid.” She was on the verge of crying. “I should have taken the alternate route.”

“Listen, don't worry about it. She'll get over it, if you're worth it.”

“Gee, thanks.” She pulled down the mirror and started fixing her hair. “I don't think she'll get over it. I've basically ruined her day.”

“It's not ruined, it's just delayed.”

“Everyone will remember how they had to wait for stupid Yolanda.”

“That's pretty egocentric of you. After the wedding starts, no one will care about what you did or didn't do.” He stopped at a traffic light, looked left, looked right, then sped through the red light.

“Uh, thanks?” she said. All his movements were very deliberate. He responded so quickly and was so sure of himself that she found him oddly attractive. “How do you know Emily?”

“She's my cousin.” He turned on a side road. If she had not been holding the door, she would have ended up in his lap. “We're almost there; we'll only be twenty minutes late.”

When he said the time, the reality of the situation struck her hard. Yolanda started crying. “I'm sorry, it's…it's…I'm just really emotional right now. I…I think it's the heat.”

He pulled out his handkerchief from his lapel and handed it to her. “Listen, if you want I can knock over the cake. Then they'll say Yolanda and Jake screwed up the wedding.” He turned and winked at her.

She laughed out loud, this made her stop her crying. A shudder flowed down to her knees, the good kind. She thought about his proposal for a minute, “No….” She thought about it again. “No, don't do that,” she let out chuckle.

“We're here.” He turned off the car. She wiped her tears and slipped on her heels. He opened his door and looked at her. “Hey, just promise me one thing.”

“What's that?”

He smiled, his eyes twinkling in the setting sun, “Just save the first dance for me.”
She blushed, her face turning more red than it already was. “Okay, I will.”

“Good.” He turned and pulled a folded up wheelchair from the back. He dropped it in the grass and slid out of the car.

Yolanda was taken aback, as she had not expected that. Still excited about meeting him, Yolanda smiled. This would be a wedding to remember. She felt better about her broken down Yugo.

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