Samuel and the Sauna

 

Samuel's relaxation time in the sauna was ruined by a teenager. Sitting in the sauna, like he did every day after ten laps in the pool, he saw the boy walk in. The boy looked like he had just run a full marathon. Sweat poured from his head to the wooden base boards. His shin high socks and white tennis shoes were drenched. The boy breathed heavily as he sat down.
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How could one human being produce this much sweat? When he sat the sides of his shorts formed a gelatinous mixture of cotton and saline. The boy gave him a half nod and a toothy grin. He was at most eighteen years old, young enough to be Samuel's grandson.

For twelve years, Samuel has had the same routine. He has seen idiot kids come into the sauna before. He's had enough experience to know that what this boy was doing was dangerous. And he hated him for it. He hated the boy for putting him in this situation. Normally Samuel preferred a silent sauna, but he knew that the young man's current state posed a significant health risk. He did not want to watch a boy die from heat stroke.

“Son?”

The boy glared at him. “I'm not your son, old man.”

“Son, did you read the signs on the door?”

“What signs?”

“The safety signs. You're supposed to cool off before you come in here, otherwise you may overheat.”

“Thanks, grandpa. Don't worry about it. I have a big wrestling meet tomorrow. I'm cutting weight. I know what I'm doing.” The boy rubbed his stomach.

“I used to wrestle some in my day, I know the pressures of having to make weight. But you should not come in here until your body has cooled off. You could die from a heat stroke.”

The boy eyed him for a couple seconds. “If I start to feel bad, I'll leave, okay?”

“No, not okay. You'll pass out before you feel a thing. Your big, I won't be able to drag your body out of here.”

Again the boy stared at him, a longer pause this time. Fine. Your right. It's unfair for me to put you in this situation. I'll come back after I cool off.

This is the way Samuel wished the conversation had gone. Unfortunately, that was not what happened.

“Oh, I can easily overheat you say. Great, maybe I'll lose another pound. Mind your own business would you. I'm not here to talk to creepy old men in the sauna.” The boy lay down, put his feet up, and closed his eyes.

“Don't lie down. I won't be able to tell if you're awake.”

The boy put his index finger to his lips, “Shhhh.”

A full three minutes passed, the boy had not moved. This is the exact situation Samuel wanted to avoid, but this kid was a mule of an idiot. He could be unconscious, or worse. There was only one way to find out.

“Kid.” No answer. “Kid are you awake?”

“Kid, are you still awake?” Samuel asked, louder every time.

The boy didn't move. Samuel leaned toward him. “Hey, idiot!”

The boy slowly picked up his head, grinning again. He laid his head back down.

“Relax old man, I'm only going to be here ten more minutes.”

“I'm not. Goodbye.” Samuel left the sauna five minutes earlier than he normally did.

The boy waved his hand in a shooing motion.

Samuel went into the dressing room and showered. On his way out of the building, he passed by the entrance to the sauna. He expected to see a number of staff members gathered at the sauna door, perhaps dragging the unconscious moron out. He wanted to see paramedics bursting through the front doors with a gurney.
Instead, he saw the boy running on a treadmill. He flashed him that toothy grin again. Samuel stopped next to him.

“Old man…you worry too much,” he said, between breaths.

“Oh, I'm not worried. Stupidity is one of those things that catches up to you in the end.”

As Samuel turned to leave, he heard a pop. He turned back to see the boy. He was off the tread, grabbing the back of his leg.

“There it is,” Samuel said. He knew it was a torn hamstring, “Good luck at your meet.”

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